Fog... Very Dense Fog... and a little confusion

I wish that the time periods between when I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something and when I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels would sort of EXTEND somewhat. It would be nice to just have some straight-aways.

I may have been through this before, but I'm still searching for that fine line between contentment and lazy disobedience. I know God has given me a vision... he has revealed things to me. He has placed desires in my heart, and they're so real that I can't help but act on them. And it's not that there is not fruit. I'm watching some really cool things happen, and I've made some really great friends. I feel, more than ever, that I've made very real connections with some of my students... and in a few cases, feel that they've been teaching me as much as I've been teaching them.

At the same time, I find myself tired. I find that things are slipping through the cracks because of how busy I am. I don't want to be the busy Martha... running around the house "doing" things because the Lord is with me, but pissed off at all the people who have parked their rears at the feet of Jesus, only to be humiliated by having him tell me that they've chosen the better thing. I want the freedom that comes in just resting at the feet of Jesus.

But what do I do with these things? These things that will never save me, but that I enjoy doing and, at some level, feel called to do! These things that, if I weren't doing them, I think I'd be taking what God gave me and sticking it in the ground.

I need discernment. I'm praying for discernment. Either discernment, or to be independently wealthy. Hmmm...
posted by Stephen at 11:23 PM | |

 
Pretty Cool...
After being sick this weekend and Monday, I'm feeling better today. But my wife and I were not sure whether a 7-8 hour drive tomorrow night to St. Louis for the Youth Specialties convention was going to be a good idea. It would be no good to be in St. Louis and get sick again due to lack of rest. So, I was considering not going...or maybe flying up later. The only problem is I don't have any money to fly...even my convention fee was being covered by someone else.

It was pretty frustrating even to have the conversation about not going. For some reason I've felt like I'm supposed to go to the Convention. So I was pretty bummed.

Then about 30 minutes after having this conversation, David from YS called and asked if I could help Sarah out on Friday. If I could help YS on Friday, they would pay for my airfare, my hotel room, and my food. Can you believe that? Pretty nice deal. So now I'm flying up Thursday night...which gives me an extra day to rest and only an hour flight instead of a long drive. God has a funny way of working things out.
posted by Jimmy at 3:14 PM | |

 
From Mark
Mark sent this to several people via email today:

"When a community is born, its founders have to struggle to survive and announce their ideal. So they find themsleves confronted with contradictions and sometimes even persecution. These conditions oblige the members of the community to emphasize their commitment; they strengthen motivation and encourage people to go beyond themselves, to rely totally on Providence. Sometimes, only the direct intervention of God can save them. When they are stripped of all their wealth, of all security and human support, they must depend on God and the people around them who are sensitive to the witness of their life. They are obliged to remain faithful to prayer and the glow of their love; it is a question of life or death. Their total dependence guarantees their authenticity; their weakness is their strength.

"But when a community has enough members to do all the work, when it has enough material goods, it can relax. It has strong structures. It is secure. It's then that there is danger.... It can be tiring and even agonizing to live in insecurity.. but insecurity is one of the only guarantees that a community will go on deepening and progressing and remain faithful.


Jean Vanier, "Community and Growth"
posted by Jimmy at 8:28 PM | |

 
Strange Stuff
This morning blogrolling.com was hacked or something, and our blogroll was jacked. They've fixed the problem now, and all of our links are back. Apparently, whoever hacked it sent every blogroll to a site belonging to a pregnant lady named Laura. Of course she got tons of hits and lots of blame, but she and her husband say they didn't have anything to do with it. I would give you the link to her blog, but I think she's probably had enough traffic today.

Also strange is the fact that my wife and I are as sick as we can remember being since we've been married (8 years ago). I think I'm actually as sick as I have ever been. It's pretty gross...fever, throwing up, weak, and other things (Mark, is God really in the...?). We sent the kids to Amy's parents. We're praying that they don't get this. So, please pray for us.

Other Strange News
I got this off the web this morning:

Hanging Corpse Admired as Sculpture on Campus

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Police on Friday removed the corpse of a man believed to have hanged himself at least a year ago after builders and students at Budapest's University of Arts had initially mistaken it for a modern sculpture.

The body hung for a whole day in a garden building that had been re-opened for repairs before onlookers realized what it was and called the police, local media said.

The building, in campus grounds crowded with different types of sculpture, had been closed five years ago pending reconstruction work.
posted by Jimmy at 9:32 AM | |

 
Throw It All Away
Toad the Wet Sprocket may be one of my all time favorite bands. I worship and reflect to their songs. I encourage you to get at least one of their CD's. These are the lyrics to Throw It All Way from way "back in the day".

take your cautionary tales
and take your incremental gain
and all the sycophantic games
and throw 'em all away
burn your t.v. in your yard
and gather 'round it with your friends
and warm your hands upon the fire
and start again

take the story you've been sold
the lies that justify the pain
the guilt that weighs upon your soul
and throw 'em all away

tear up the calendar you bought
and throw the pieces to the sky
confetti falling down like rain
like a parade to usher in your life

take the dreams that should've died
the ones that kept you lying awake
when you should have been all right
and throw 'em all away

with the time i waste on the life i never had
i could have turned myself into a better man
there is nothing you can buy
there is nothing you can save
to fill the hole inside your heart
so throw it all away

help me to empty out this house
the wool i've gathered all these days
and thought i couldn't do without
and throw it all away


posted by Jimmy at 5:15 PM | |

 
Real Live Preacher Has Returned
He's blogging again from the road. It's another cool post. Be sure to check out the stories on his blog...he's a great story teller.

Tell us, Preacher, who are you?
posted by Jimmy at 3:32 PM | |

 
This was a good post from November 13th on aola's blog:

"I was rereading some of the stuff I have written and thinking that a lot of the stuff that I write and the bloggers that I read write seems to be pretty bitter towards Church, Inc...... I really don't mean it to be. I don't want to hold any animosity towards anyone. There are still a lot of wonderful people in the organization who are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing and until God shows them differently they need to stay right where they are. I don't regret the road God has taken me down to get to where I am right now... sometimes I wish I caught on a little faster but I just have to believe that when the word says "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord" He is including me in that process. I am very, very thankful for where we are right now. I never want to be a part of that system again.I feel like that when I got saved God delivered me from the bondages of sin and stupid me, I stepped right into the bondages of the law and now He has set me free from that. So, I truly feel free indeed!! I love what I see happening in our group and others like us who are learning to BE the church, day to day, side by side.

So, forgive me if I sound bitter at times. We have pretty much worked thru all the anger but we are still going to call it like it is."

It's good to be reminded that God is in control.
posted by Jimmy at 2:47 PM | |

 
My New Dream
Several of you have wondered what I'm going to do now that I've decided to follow my dreams. Here it is:


I'm going to be a church image consultant!
(I mean, if I'm going to have all these opinions I might as well get paid for it.)



posted by Jimmy at 4:10 PM | |

 
Birds, Flowers, Jobs, & Life
My side of a conversation about being faithful, jobs that rob life, and making ends meet.

i don't want to worry about it anymore...i want to be faithful to who God has made me to be. I enjoy teaching. I have a concern for the poor. I love my family.

I'm going to see if i really can live like a bird

or a flower

i'm going to be St. Francis

"Brother son, sister moon....."

i don't want to spend my life doing things that make me crazy. If life is going to suck, i at least want it to suck on my terms
posted by Jimmy at 10:12 PM | |

 
I just had one of those cool moments with my daughter.

We were both sitting on the floor. She was laughing because I was making her Spiderman toy (yes, she likes Spiderman) attack her and tickle her. She took it and made it attack my face, and I made a funny face in response. We both started laughing together. She was laughing at me laughing. I was laughing in response. We were cracking each other up.

It dawned on me the experience we were sharing. I started to cry. Having a daughter has got to be one of the coolest things in the world. She's incredible.

Thank you, God, for my daughter. Help me to honor you in the way I parent her. It's the least I can do for the way you've blessed me with her.
posted by Stephen at 9:21 PM | |

 
ekklhsia
Ecclesia is the Greek word translated "church" in the New Testament. Here are the various ways ekklhsian was used generally in the Hellenistic world, in the Septuagint and Rabbinic culture, and in early Christian history (including the New Testament):

1. General Greek Usage: a gathering of citizens called out from their homes into some public place, an assembly a) an assembly of the people convened at the public place of the council for the purpose of deliberating. b) any gathering or throng of men assembled by chance, tumultuously

2. OT usage: the assembly of the Israelites (most often in the Septuagint it represents the Hebrew word qahal--meaning assembly, multitude, gathering¹)

3. Christian usage: a) an assembly of Christians gathered for worship in a religious meeting b) a company of Christian, or of those who, hoping for eternal salvation through Jesus Christ, observe their own religious rites, hold their own religious meetings, and manage their own affairs, according to regulations prescribed for the body for order's sake c) those who anywhere, in a city, village, constitute such a company and are united into one body d) the whole body of Christians scattered throughout the earth e) the assembly of faithful Christians already dead and received into heaven

I think it's wonderful that the word for church² cannot be pegged to any one particular usage. Even the general Greek definition is somewhat vague and contradictory...is it a gathering that is planned or spontaneous? In the New Testament, the word represents all Christians and yet also referred to individual gatherings³. Perhaps part of the problem for contemporary Christian culture is that we have defined church too clearly. Maybe it's meant to be enigmatic...too slippery for us to get our dirty fingers around it.


¹ See the following two links for a quick look at the word's usage in the Old Testament. In the Septuagint the word is translated both as ecclesia and as the Greek word for synagogue.
Link 1 & Link 2

² The English word "church" is really a bad translation in our English Bibles. "Church" derives from the Greek word kuriakon, having a simple meaning "of the Lord". In Old English and German the word was pronounced 'kirché.' In Scotland, it was 'kirk.' The word kuriakon only appears in the New Testament in two places. It is found once in 1 Corinthians 11:20 where it refers to 'the Lord's supper,' and once again in Revelation 1:10 where it refers to 'the Lord's day.' In both of those cases, it is translated 'the Lord's' - not 'church.' This word does not appear again in the New Testament. A better translation for ecclesia would to have been simply "assembly", "community", or perhaps, "the called together"...although perhaps the Body is properly the ecclesia kuriakon, a gathering of people belonging to the Lord.

³The word is used to describe the body of believers in Acts 20:28; Gal. 1:13; Eph. 1: 22, 23; 5:23. 1 Cor. 1: 2, speaks of the ecclesia in a specific area, as does 1 Thess. 1: 1 and 2 Thess. 1: 1, while, Acts 9:3 1, seems to be speaking of the ecclesia(s) in the areas of 'Judaea and Galilee and Samaria. ' Romans 16:3-5, and verse 23, speak of individual ecclesias in the homes of specific individuals


posted by Jimmy at 6:37 PM | |

 

St. Louis Youth Specialties Convention
Hey gang...looks like Mark has hooked me up for the St. Louis Convention, so both he and I will be there. It would be great to get to meet any of you who are going. Drop us a line, and we'll figure out how to make contact.

Note: Andy will actually be there, too...he just doesn't want us to actually identify him. He's afraid it'll hurt his business at the convention. ;-) Looks like Stephen is--once again--the odd man out.
posted by Jimmy at 11:52 AM | |

 
Words Mean Things

I've been criticized immensely in the past for being nit-picky about the words I use or the way I use them. Jimmy said not long ago that the minute we stop calling the activities that occur on Sunday morning between the hours of nine and noon "church" is the minute we might actually start getting somewhere. I said in my last post that I refuse to call singing "worship". For this, I have been called everything from petty to legalistic.

I just can't get away from the importance of the words we use, though. Words can build up or they can tear down. If we repeat something often enough, eventually it impacts our way of thinking and our lifestyle. People on both sides of the political/cultural spectrum use this argument when it suits them and ignore it when it doesn't.

How could it not impact the way we think? We can repeat to kids all day long that the church isn't the building, but the people in it. Yet, how do we use the word the other 95% of the time we use it? To refer to a building or a program! There is something hopelessly out of balance!

Our words mean things. If you don't believe me, ask the kid whose friends constantly tease him, even though they all claim to be joking. Eventually, it will impact that kid.

So, if I seem too adamant, it's because I think the most apparent way of showing that we're all ready to throw the hinges off of the doors of our definition of church is in the way we use the word every day. Let's let our yes be our yes, our no be our no, our church be our church, our program be our program, and our building be our building. Let's be honest about what we're talking about.
posted by Stephen at 1:05 AM | |

 
Listen to the Band

The other day, I had an excellent conversation about music in worship (I hate equating the two... music or singing and worship). The day before, in chapel, our chapel band was allowed to cut loose. One student, who is an exceptional guitar player, was allowed to solo. I had no idea what a big deal this would be.

Some people were concerned that the focus was on him, the musician, and not on God.

I used to be one of those reactionary pomo worship service nuts who decried performance in the "worship service" and demanded that the band be out of sight in an attempt to completely remove them from the spotlight so that God could have it all (now, I'm just a reactionary who decries "worship services"... go figure).

But I've really re-thought this whole role of performance in artistic worship. I believe we ought to give in to it. Let them perform! Let's be honest about what is happening, and stop putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on "worship leaders" to evoke some desired response from the "participants". At the same time, let's take the pressure off of the "participants" to react in a certain way!

Look, the fact is that there are some people who were born to play music. I happen to have had three or so of those types of people in that class. When I see them play their instruments, I realize that they are doing what God made them to do. I desire to participate in that with them by wondering at the grace of a God who allows me to catch a glimpse of His beauty and truth in such a magnificent way through broken and flawed vessels such as these, and the mercy of a God who would allow this severely damaged vessel to recognize that beauty and gain pleasure from it.

Ultimately, as with any act of worship, it comes down to an individual act of obedience. Is the guitar player playing for personal glory, or because God has made him play? Is the flute player playing to get a scholarship, or out of a desire to express the beauty that's been revealed to her and has led her to tears to others, hoping that they feel it too, because she knows how much it meant to her? Why take this away from them by diminishing their performance out of a selfish desire to not be disturbed in our so-called "moment with God"? Is it not focusing on God to recognize Him in this act of obedience? This, in fact, is the responsibility of the listener. It is their act of obedience... to revel in the wonder of the gifts of the musician and show gratitude for their desire to share them.

So let the singer sing. Let the musician play. Let the painter paint and the actor act. Let the dancer dance. Let them perform! I'll be sitting in the row with my hands behind my back, smiling, and thanking God for all the beautiful music.
posted by Stephen at 12:48 AM | |

 
Constantine... Holy Roman Community Wrecker

I was talking with a friend tonight... he was telling me a conversation he had had with a friend of his about what Christianity might have been like had there not been a Constantine (or had the church not decided to sell out to their first celebrity convert in a misguided attempt to find legitimacy). If there were not a cemented "orthodoxy" that focused all of our attention on the acceptance of propositional truth that, as E. Stanley Jones puts it, doesn't touch the core of our being (much less our lifestyle), would we be forced to turn to each other for help in interpreting God's Word to us (and I'm only partially referring to the Bible).

I thought it was an interesting thing to think about. Have we willingly given up a degree of community for the security of orthodoxy? Instead of engaging in a thoughtful dialogue with other believers about what we believe God is doing with us and why, we can simply have such knowledge dispensed to us now by "people who know", whether they be a priest, the latest author, our "accountability group" leader, or some other human king, to borrow a phrase from Tom Mohn.
posted by Stephen at 12:38 AM | |

 
liquidthinking
Hey gang...thanks for all the comments and emails. I want to clear up something for some readers.

From emails I've received and comments made on this blog, there seems to be some confusion as to who posts here. Please be sure to check the post author's name at the bottom of each post. Right now there are four of us: Mark Riddle, Stephen Zedler, Andy Mullins, and myself. We're just four guys trying to figure out this whole thing. We come from different backgrounds and experiences. Mark is a youth pastor in Michigan. Stephen and I are teachers. Andy heads a design company. We have different views...we don't always agree with each other. Some of us border on thinking the church™ is the great whore, others of us view her as a sometimes unfaithful, but loving wife. We are changing. We most likely said and posted things last year that we may not agree with today. Please know we don't think we have all the answers even though we speak like we do sometimes. We like to have fun and poke fun. We are passionate about lots of things, so we speak strongly at times. That's us. Screwed up and whole. Laughing and Hurting. Fulfilled and empty. Serious and silly. Sinners and Saints. We take the things that are in our hearts and our heads, and we pour them out here for everyone to see.
posted by Jimmy at 6:21 PM | |

 
Happy Birthday Mark!
Mark has just turned 32 today! Woo Hooo! I dare all of you to actually sing Happy Birthday to Mark out loud wherever you are.

I'm not kidding...I dare you to sing.

Happy Birthday, brother...I miss ya! I'm a pretty lousy friend at this long distance thing, and I always wish I said more in the times we're together to let you know how much you mean to me. Here's to another good year of being ruined.

posted by Jimmy at 6:02 PM | |

 
COMMUNITY AND CHURCH™

Church™Inc. is evil.
It is not neutral.
It is not good.
It is not "people".
It is an institution.
It is a political machine.
It's first adgenda is "morality" and in it's history it has killed those who were in opposition to it.
It will crush anyone in it's way. Many are its victims.
Imperfection in leadership is "covered up" or the leader is kicked to the pavement. Whichever seems to cause the least damage to Church™ Inc.
The Gospel is employed only in its service to the first agenda which is moral perfection.
Their primary belief system is, moral perfection is the testimony needed for more conversions, often referred to as a "good witness".
Members must at all cost maintain "a good witness".
A stict list of do's and dont's is adamantly enforced to maintain this "good witness".

Bottom line: Political power is held in higher esteem than people and biblical truth.

Vs.

The Church, the Body of Christ is good.
It is the hope of the World.
It's agenda is to love and enjoy Christ and share that love and Christ' invitation with the world.

To have fellowship they must walk in humility "in the light", confessing sin, recieving the love of Christ and longing for him to "bring to completion" what he has started in them.
They are aware of the deceptiveness of sin and conscious of their own sinful motivations. Those involved in Church™ find them easy prey and they struggle to find a safe place to experience this fellowship.

They live by the law of the Spirit and not by a stict list of rules. They live by loving God and loving their neighbor as themselves.
This often brings persecution by members of Church™Inc. but they are encouraged by Christ to press on, to consider it joy even.

Bottom line: Loving people is held in higher esteem than political power and "moral perfection".


By whatever pretence the Gospel IS preached by Church™Inc. and I believe they are excellent mission fields for The Church to work in.
Beyond that they are pretty much FUBAR and people need to be told.



posted by Andy at 10:12 AM | |

 
Jimmy and I had a really good conversation with our headmaster the other day. We were both really concerned about the apparent contradiction between working in a so-called Christian environment, yet feeling pressure to avoid the honesty and intimacy that is so vital to kingdom living. Even more so, we were concerned that not having a "place" to invite the kids into as a model of the type of values we wanted to perpetuate was tantamount to setting the kids up for failure, driving them to the same cynicism that I, for one, believe has infected my own thinking and would like to see others avoid.

His word to us was that we were trying too hard to define the Kingdom of God.

Almost simultaneously, Jimmy's copy of Bonhoeffer's Life Together is returned to him, which he proceeds to devour and spit back at me. It's great stuff. We both needed to hear it. It became obvious to me that my ideal of what Christian community should be had become an idol, and it was getting in the way of my experiencing community now.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a vision. I think God gives us those, and it's up to us to be faithful to them. The problem comes when we start shoving that vision down others throats... other people whose visions may be different. That creates conflict. I can totally be faithful to my vision without imposing it on other people. I mean, I'm the only one that I can really worry about, right? I can't let my desire to pursue that vision keep me from being attentive to the needs that are in front of me right now.

So I have to accept that the Kingdom of God is within me... and that Christ is with me now, even outside of the context of my model Christian community. It's been almost liberating. I have reveled in almost every conversation I have had with another believer since this dawned on me. I have relished them. I consider it a blessing to be in contact with that believer now, and I want to acknowledge Christ in the present, because I never know when that fellowship might be taken from me.

It puts a lot in perspective... and I look forward to my next conversation now.
posted by Stephen at 11:45 PM | |

 

I was reminded of this by Sarah over at theooze today. What a great video.
posted by Jimmy at 5:37 PM | |

 
Why does "Christian Community" need to be anything more than the sum of its parts?
Where is it written that it must be named, marketed and professionalized and housed in a building with a connecting Gymnasium?
In a time when the marketing and the professionalism and the new building campaign are only distractions to the actual community.

Why when someone asks me, "where do you go to church", they really don't mean, "where do you have christian community?". When I dont give them the address of a church building but rather the names of those with which I experience community they look at me as if I am missing out. Im sorry but I dont experience community between 9 and 12 on Sunday mornings when I "go to church".


posted by Andy at 5:17 PM | |

 
God Is In The Shit
i'm making concerted efforts to slow my life down. way down. I think I believe that my ministry to my family is my ministry to the world. That out of a healthy family, ministry will abound. I feel like the ministry I've done in the past has been fueled by some sort of funky chemical fertilizer that . is completely unnatural and unsustainable without continued outside inorganic intervention. the fertilizer of hype and spectacle and momentum are the stuff that grow big ministries. plants grow from natural fertilizers... but putting my hands on that seems icky. it's poop after all. it's full of dead things. worms and the like.
before I never had time for the shit of life. Today I have to make room for it. because that is where God meets us.
i've ordered my ministry about cleanliness, about effeciancy, about effectiveness, about speed, about quick results.... and I've used just the right fertilizer mix to make it happen.
posted by riddle at 9:16 AM | |

 
Helpless, continued...
I'm beginning to realize the reality of my situation. I am not only helpless to make the life of those in poverty better, but helpless to make the lives of anyone better. I can't help the poor. I can't help the rich. I can't even help my own children. Like Peter and John at the Beautiful Gate, all I can do is offer Jesus. Jesus is the helper. He is the healer. To expect more of myself is pride. To expect less of Him is blasphemous. That is the simple burden of the Christian...to carry Christ to others.

I can't help myself...I can only receive Christ, the helper and healer.

Bonhoeffer would say that is why the fellowship of believers is so important: that we offer Christ to one another. That the Word of Christ sometimes seems more trustworthy coming from others because we don't have the strength to believe it ourselves.

Added Note: Great comments/questions on this post, so I thought I would add something to clarify more of my thoughts on this. The question is basically, "Does that mean we do nothing?" I would have to say, "No!" Because I am helpless, all I can do is act on Christ's Word. My helplessness and my need for Christ--the Helper, Healer, and Saviour--compels me to act. I cry out for mercy and salvation because I cannot save myself. Likewise, I speak words of forgiveness to my brothers and sisters in Christ, not because I am able to forgive but because Christ has forgiven already. I offer aid to those in need, not because I can do anything but because I believe Christ works through his Body. I learn to turn the other cheek, not because it has pragmatic results, but because my only hope is to trust the Word of Christ. Does that make sense?
posted by Jimmy at 11:35 AM | |

 
Bonhoeffer On Christian Communty
An Excerpt From Life Together
"Innumerable times a whole Christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream. The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.

By sheer grace, God will not permit us to live even for a brief period in a dream world. He does not abandon us to those rapturous experiences and lofty moods that come over us like a dream...Only that fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God's sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it. The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community the better for both. A community which cannot bear and cannot survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping its illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community...He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.

God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of the brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he sees the community going to smash. So he becomes, first an accuser of the brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself."

God, please forgive me for exchanging your reality of Christian community for my ideal. Give me today my daily bread...that fellowship which sustains me for today. Thank you for every graceful moment of Christian fellowship which You have given me. Help me to know others only through You.
posted by Jimmy at 10:04 AM | |

 
Mike Arnt of Bread of Life Fellowship said something the other day, and I will thank him for it in the future.

He said he was trying to prepare to give a lesson on Sunday, and he kept experiencing roadblock after roadblock. Finally, God got through to him. Mike said God told him he wanted Mike to apologize on behalf of church leadership to everyone who had been hurt by church leadership. He wasn't talking directly to me, but it didn't matter.

I started to cry. I hadn't realized before he said that how much I needed to hear SOMEONE say it.

I needed it.

Thanks, Mike. You unknowingly played a role in the healing of a very angry man.
posted by Stephen at 11:13 PM | |

 
Am I making too much of this?
Have I made this too difficult?
Have I made my ideal of community an idol?
What's the line between contentment and disobedient laziness?

I think I need to be more open... more receptive to acting in situations that present itself. It might keep me from trying to conform the world to my image.

Maybe.
posted by Stephen at 11:09 PM | |

 
The Ministry of Presence
I'm becoming more and more convinced church happens when we invite others to join us on our pilgrimage to the Kingdom of God...when we simply share our lives. Here's a great story from Next-Wave I found while reading Rudy Carrasco's blog.
posted by Jimmy at 8:30 PM | |

 

A Great Story...
Check out this link and read it all.
posted by Jimmy at 9:07 AM | |

 

Becoming the Church of the Poor
From nouwen.net--a quote from Bread for the Journey:
When we claim our own poverty and connect our poverty with the poverty of our brothers and sisters, we become the Church of the poor, which is the Church of Jesus. Solidarity is essential for the Church of the poor . Both pain and joy must be shared. As one body we will experience deeply one another's agonies as well as one another's ecstasies. As Paul says: "If one part is hurt, all the parts share its pain. And if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy" (1 Corinthians 12:26).
Often we might prefer not to be part of the body because it makes us feel the pain of others so intensely. Every time we love others deeply we feel their pain deeply. However, joy is hidden in the pain. When we share the pain we also will share the joy.

Anyone know which artist did Christ in the Soup Line? I'm not even sure if this is the work's real title.
posted by Jimmy at 7:51 AM | |

 
Words From the Wise...

A while back Shok wrote this:

".. i found that i could preach anything i wanted as long as i did not take any action .. it's the turning over of the tables that will get u killed every time .."

He's so smart.
posted by Jimmy at 10:10 AM | |

 
Choices...
You guys might pray for me. I've been using some pretty strong language in my Senior Bible classes...basically I've used "cuss" words twice. Pretty strong ones for the Christian™ culture of my school...I said that when Paul says "everything is rubbish compared to knowing Christ", the Greek word skybalon was a common (vulgar) word that in our day would probably better be translated "shit". That translation more accurately captures the shock of what Paul was saying. I also used the f word in relation to the prodigal son..."f-you dad, I wish you were dead!" Because it too was a shocking story with a scandalous ending...something that doesn't hit a churched crowd very often.

I knew using those words was risky. I'm not ignorant. So I was expecting some backlash, and now its here. I'm not sure if my job is on the line. I go back and forth on how wise I was to use those words. The students have told me that for the first time their Bible classes are making sense to them and applying to who they are. Parents have confirmed this for me (although they may not be aware I've used those words). However, some other teachers have heard that I used that langauge and are talking about it (and me). Of course, as to be expected in Christianity™ no one has actually come to me about it.

Anyway, the word has been said and it's about to hit fan. Pray for us. Maybe I quit my web job, and now I'll get fired from my teachng job...we can do real homeless ministry right with them...

I used "f-word" in this post so as not to compound my problems by offending any others by using the real word. Who knows who may be reading this. ;-)
posted by Jimmy at 12:25 PM | |

 
Bedlam
Today is a sacred day in Oklahoma. Many will gather around electronic altars in homes and public squares, share a communion of fattening drink and food, raise their voices in shouting and worship, and experience the struggle between two mythical forces...Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State.

I, too, will be among the faithful.
posted by Jimmy at 11:43 AM | |

 
A good post on Michael Toy's blog:

why i don't like to use upper case letters
In an on-line discussion, I have determined that if you are involved in a conversation with someone, and they begin to USE PHRASES IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, that the conversation is over. Further attempts at dialog will result only in MORE STRIDENT STATEMENTS until finally there are ENTIRE PARAGRAPHS EXPLAINING THE CLEAR TRUTH THAT EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW AND I AM NOW MAKING OBVIOUS BECAUSE MY LETTERS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS.

i'm interested in the truth that can be spoken in lower case letters, that capitalizes itself in the hearts of readers. i think jesus spoke in this way, when i read the words of jesus, the capital letters can't be argued with, because they have become my own.

posted by Jimmy at 10:49 AM | |

 
Helpless
On Monday I met a guy at the Salvation Army. He's a father of a large homeless family (6-8 people) that was staying and eating at the downtown center. I had seen them for 3 or 4 weeks. They always sat together and then he made sure that they all cleaned up their space when they were done. While it's always sad to see families in that situation, especially children, it was cool (and rare) to see a whole family together and to see their father gently instructing them.

As we were serving breakfast on Monday, one of the little Hispanic girls from this family came to get some milk. As I was pouring, I asked her, "How are you doing today?" She quietly responded, "I don't feel good today." Then she went and sat back down with her family...which on this day wasn't able to sit at one table, but was spread out over two tables. My heart was breaking. What was going to happen to this little girl who was not feeling well when they were back on the streets? Breakfast for the homeless at the center is served for those who had a chance to stay there overnight, but at 7:00 AM they have to go back out on the streets until 4:30 when dinner is served. Some of course actually have jobs, others spend the day at Tulsa's Day Center where they get to shower and get a reprieve from the elements (either the Oklahoma heat or the winter cold). Homeless children in Tulsa can go to public school if they are of age (a school bus picks them up at the Daycenter--I always wonder how those students get treated at school), others can attend free preschool at Salvation Army if they are 4 or 5. The little girl was 5 or 6.

After we finished serving, I approached the father and introduced myself. I asked him, "What happens when one of your children is sick? What do you do?" He told me that he takes them to the free clinic, but he wasn't sure if she was really sick. He then told me that his wife had left on October 11th, and the girls hadn't been eating or feeling well sense their mom had left (3 or 4 of his children are girls). I asked him how he had ended up in this situation. He explained that he had worked in Illinois and lost his job. Someone told him there was work in Oklahoma, so he brought his family in hopes of finding work--but there was none. So now they were homeless and staying at Salvation Army.

I sat there feeling helpless. What could I do? How could I help him? How could I comfort these girls? All I could think of is the Kingdom of God...how much I wish I had a place, a community of people, who were committed, available, resourceful, and numerous enough to help this man and his family. So we could provide childcare and a safe place to go to school for his children and a job for him...a chance to get on their feet if they are willing.

Father, let your Kingdom come, and your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven...

Image for this post is from the Jesus People USA website.


posted by Jimmy at 10:13 AM | |